so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
