Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
