Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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