Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
