Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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