He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
