never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
