his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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