sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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