if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
