I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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