Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
