In the future we'll all be gay
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
