You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
