this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
