You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Randomize