Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
