How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
