Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
