Walk of Shame. In a state park.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
