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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
