the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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