my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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