Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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