those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize