I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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