So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
