i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
