I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
