just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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