Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize