remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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