i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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