im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
How's work?
Spinning.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
