Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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