So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
