I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
