yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
