fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize