Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
