I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
