I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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