Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
