call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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