Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Please, let me fuck your mom
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
