Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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