I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I have already put on my inside pants.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize