For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize