I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
