Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
