i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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