Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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