yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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