I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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