Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
