I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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