Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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