yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
