Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
