i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
