and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize