you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
