Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
