while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
They are going to name an STD after you.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize