i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
